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Does God Still Love My LGBTQ Child?


Mother comforting teenage son.
Photo credit: Kindel Media (via

What does the story of Moses, Esther, Nehemiah, and Jesus have in common? Each of them had it made. They were in a privileged position. All they had to do was sit back and enjoy their status. But they couldn’t do it. Moses was a prince, Esther was a queen, Nehemiah was the cupbearer to the most powerful man on the planet, and Jesus was with his Father in heaven. The thing that caused these people to leave what was comfortable for what was uncomfortable is behind “the question.” The "question" is the reason Jesus left his Father’s side, came to be one of us, and lived and suffered as one of us. The people that you admire and amaze you are the folks who at some level dared to ask, answer, and act on this question. They are the people who make a little piece of the world better and they certainly made somebody’s world better. This clarifying, and to be honest, terrifying question reveals something about us and has the potential to catapult us in a way we never thought possible: What breaks your heart?

What causes you to say to yourself, This just shouldn’t be? What is it that creates such deep emotion in you that you say over and over, "It’s not okay with me! It should not be okay with you! It should not be okay with any of us!”? What is it that is so frustrating because in your soul you know it’s wrong, but you’re not sure there is anything you can do about it? For Moses, his people were in slavery. For Esther, the oncoming genocide of her people. For Nehemiah, his homeland had been devastated. For Jesus, he loved the people of the world so much, that he came to create a new covenant of love between God and ALL people. A covenant where his followers are known because they love all people as he loves them (John 13:34-35).

What breaks my heart are fellow people who suddenly feel they are not part of the “ALL people” anymore. They feel isolated and no longer connected to the grace of Jesus. What could cause the feeling of being loved by God to come to a screeching halt by dedicated followers of Jesus? The child, whom they love more than life itself, shared that they are gay. Suddenly a flood of questions explodes in their head. How did this happen? Is this my fault? What will my friends and family think? What will my church think? Can my child still have a relationship with God? Can I? The "love as I have loved you" is the kind of love that holds no record of wrong, a divine love that changes everything it touches, every aspect of our lives. It is a love that offers hope—hope that neither a gay child nor their parents must choose between loving each other and loving God. When Jesus said “all people” there were no exceptions. God's kind of love means that a child born with a different sexual orientation or gender identity, over which they have no control, can be affirmed as they are and loved to the deepness that God loves all people. We want to deliver one simple message: There is hope! There are safe spaces for parents of LGBTQ children (youth or adult) to start picking up the pieces. If you are a parent of an LGBTQ child, you are not alone. A place to start navigating this journey is with CenterPeace's weekend retreat, called PeacePrint, where you will find a community of other moms and dads on the same journey, a retreat that offers hope that you don’t have to choose between your faith and your child. Recently, I reached out to CenterPeace to bring a PeacePrint to Michigan on the weekend of June 7-9, 2024. Here you will find an encouraging and Christ-centered atmosphere, where you will meet parents like you, who are seeking a place of support in their journey and the resources to stay connected to their LGBTQ loved one. Register for the Michigan retreat here. Questions? Contact CenterPeace at ____ This guest post is by Gary Tucker, who recently started a new initiative, Hidden Wounds, to provide Christian LGBTQ resources for parents in Michigan. Gary became interested in supporting parents while completing his Master's degree in Trauma and Resilience at Spring Arbor University. Prior to that he had a career in teaching and holds a PhD in Educational/Instructional Technology.

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